|Release Date||June 24, 2016|
|Runtime||1 hour, 4 minutes|
|Previous Episode||Episode 288|
|Intro Music||The Doors - Five to One|
Someone with an odd musical instrument on Sebastian's flight and Pete and more parenting tips!
- Lou has an encounter on the streets of NYC with Eddie Vedder.
- Sebastian slums it in coach and ends up next to an eccentric, possibly-professional trombone player and apple enthusiast.
- Pete’s father eats an apple from the tip of a knife, a technique which Pete uses on his young daughter.
- Sebastian's home is featured in Architectural Digest Magazine.
- Pete makes a special request for coffee on an airplane, feels the flight attendant’s outrage at his request is misplaced. Sebastian disagrees.
- Dogs in airports are becoming a problem.
- Pete deduces that DJ Lou is drunk based on his kind, passive demeanor.
- Santa’s visit to Fredonia leaves Pete wanting
- Sebastian attends an estrogen-charged gift wrapping party and is relegated to being a spectator to the only male conversation.
- Pete is considering inviting a member from his gym locker room to a gig, and then performing material he overheard the man talking about.
Quotes from the episode
- Pete: I’m here BTW, so stop mentioning me in the third person?!
- Jimmy from Boston: You’re yelling at fat girls on a plane, trying to stifle some imaginary movement that you created? And then you’re grabbing Sadie by the ankles and carrying her upstairs like a bucket of water! You’re like a modern day captain caveman, kid!
- Sebastian: They give you a beautiful case with cushions so none of the knobs get touched and you’re walking around with this thing in a bag that you put sandcastle equipment in?
- Sebastian: When you’re in a hurry, Louisiana is no place to be.
- DJ Lou: In case a campfire breaks out! (re: having a guitar at the ready)
- Pete: Even I’m uncomfortable hearing that you were flying in coach. This is not even good for the show!
- Sebastian: If you bring a book on the plane that is more than 250 pages, you’re gonna be a problem.
- Sebastian: This guys doin’ trombone techniques while he’s reading the book!
- Sebastian: It’s like a kennel at the gate at the airport.
- Sebastian: I don’t wanna see Santa walking back to his Ford Escort getting in with the outfit.
- Sebastian: It’s all girls, me, the one guy that’s there is gay. It’s a wrapping party! Pete: That’s their Super Bowl!
- Pete: How’d you know my name is Pete? She points to my Starbucks cup. I thought she saw me on TV.