Episode Details
Release Date March 18, 2016
Runtime 1 hour, 26 minutes
Previous Episode Episode 211
Intro Music
12891747 969261913170769 3816908254796123684 o-2
Pete has an amazing reaction to finding a stranger's wallet and Sebastian hangs with Bill Burr!

Topics discussed

  • Pete takes a midweek break to the Ivy in Toronto with a horse-hair Hästen bed
  • Pete is not a fan of the cool reception he receives upon re-entry to his native United States, suggests we annex Canada into the US
  • A discussion of St Patrick's Day traditions
  • Trump talk
  • We check in with casting on Sebastian's pilot, his desire to take the cast out for a preshow dinner, friends coming in from out of town for the taping, he reaffirms is commitment to the Pete & Sebastian Show
  • Sebastian "broke in" with the staff at Madeo, also recommends Michael Voltaggio’s Ink.
  • Despite his objection to drugs, prostitution and murder, Pete thinks he would have thrived in the mafia due to his interests in pasta, smoking and spousal abuse.
  • Sebastian breaks rice with Bill Burr in a double date over sushi.
  • Pete tells a story of finding a wallet in Cleveland.
  • Sebastian tells an anecdote of his brother-in-law's birthday weekend and division of restaurant tabs and a "stale" bill, contrasted with the generous tipping habits of Bill Burr and Brian Regan.
  • Sebastian endures a 10-shuffle marathon shuffle session on a 7am flight.
  • Pete's having trouble finding contractors to repair his wind-damaged roof
  • A woman uses a pen to upgrade herself to Sebastian's first-class seat, causing much anguish until a patient stewardess intervenes
  • Sebastian gifts DJ Lou 2 tickets to Pearl Jam at Madison Square Garden
  • Billy Joel plays a private dinner in Naples, Florida

Quotes from the episode

  • Jimmy in Boston: "You can take a break from choppin down trees, or rippin telephone poles out of the ground..."
  • Pete: "We’re not playing tiddlywinks in that thing…we’re gonna have some fun in that horse hair!"
  • Sebastian: "Maybe even a piece of candy, something to welcome you back into the states!"
  • Pete: "What are you? My fuckin mother? It’s none of your business."
  • Pete: "I went over there to buy coke and kill dolphins, and I struck out. Alright guy?!"
  • Sebastian: "How does someone look at a bed go; You know what? Go put some horse hair in it and see what it feels like."
  • Pete: "I’d kill an animal for a good sleep, don’t get me wrong!"
  • Pete: "I'm half Irish, I'll admit it...It's a white trash holiday!"
  • Pete: "I'd walk in if I was the boss and go: Great're fired!"
  • Pete: "If I wasn't a comedian, I think I would've thrived in the mob."
  • Attendant: "That's your good deed for the day." Pete: "Guy-for the day? This covers me for 4 months!"
  • Pete: "He had the 20s mixed with 5s and 10s...what-did you just get back from a carnival?!"
  • Pete: "When he said 'is there any way I can thank you?' I so wanted to say, 'Just vote Trump.' We'll be doing this kinda stuff all the time!"
  • Pete: "I left your wallet at the hyatt, and here's my number in case you wanna call up and say I'm the fuckin' king!"
  • Pete: "Bro, you're picking up the tab for the rest of your life!"
  • Sebastian: "Meanwhile I'm sittin' here goin, 'Is anybody gonna pick up the hash browns?'"
  • Pete: "I hate cards." Sebastian: "I hate cards with such a passion."
  • DJ Lou: "The last time Pearl Jam played MSG was 2010, and to get in to that show, I had to tell Rosie O'Donnel that I would quit smoking."