Episode 212

Pete has an amazing reaction to finding a stranger's wallet and Sebastian hangs with Bill Burr!


 * Pete takes a midweek break to the Ivy in Toronto with a horse-hair Hästen bed
 * Pete is not a fan of the cool reception he receives upon re-entry to his native United States, suggests we annex Canada into the US
 * A discussion of St Patrick's Day traditions
 * Trump talk
 * We check in with casting on Sebastian's pilot, his desire to take the cast out for a preshow dinner, friends coming in from out of town for the taping, he reaffirms is commitment to the Pete & Sebastian Show
 * Sebastian "broke in" with the staff at Madeo, also recommends Michael Voltaggio’s Ink.
 * Despite his objection to drugs, prostitution and murder, Pete thinks he would have thrived in the mafia due to his interests in pasta, smoking and spousal abuse.
 * Sebastian breaks rice with Bill Burr in a double date over sushi.
 * Pete tells a story of finding a wallet in Cleveland.
 * Sebastian tells an anecdote of his brother-in-law's birthday weekend and division of restaurant tabs and a "stale" bill, contrasted with the generous tipping habits of Bill Burr and Brian Regan.
 * Sebastian endures a 10-shuffle marathon shuffle session on a 7am flight.
 * Pete's having trouble finding contractors to repair his wind-damaged roof
 * A woman uses a pen to upgrade herself to Sebastian's first-class seat, causing much anguish until a patient stewardess intervenes
 * Sebastian gifts DJ Lou 2 tickets to Pearl Jam at Madison Square Garden
 * Billy Joel plays a private dinner in Naples, Florida


 * Jimmy in Boston: "You can take a break from choppin down trees, or rippin telephone poles out of the ground..."
 * Pete: "We’re not playing tiddlywinks in that thing…we’re gonna have some fun in that horse hair!"
 * Sebastian: "Maybe even a piece of candy, something to welcome you back into the states!"
 * Pete: "What are you? My fuckin mother? It’s none of your business."
 * Pete: "I went over there to buy coke and kill dolphins, and I struck out. Alright guy?!"
 * Sebastian: "How does someone look at a bed go; You know what? Go put some horse hair in it and see what it feels like."
 * Pete: "I’d kill an animal for a good sleep, don’t get me wrong!"
 * Pete: "I'm half Irish, I'll admit it...It's a white trash holiday!"
 * Pete: "I'd walk in if I was the boss and go: Great outfit...you're fired!"
 * Pete: "If I wasn't a comedian, I think I would've thrived in the mob."
 * Attendant: "That's your good deed for the day." Pete: "Guy-for the day? This covers me for 4 months!"
 * Pete: "He had the 20s mixed with 5s and 10s...what-did you just get back from a carnival?!"
 * Pete: "When he said 'is there any way I can thank you?' I so wanted to say, 'Just vote Trump.' We'll be doing this kinda stuff all the time!"
 * Pete: "I left your wallet at the hyatt, and here's my number in case you wanna call up and say I'm the fuckin' king!"
 * Pete: "Bro, you're picking up the tab for the rest of your life!"
 * Sebastian: "Meanwhile I'm sittin' here goin, 'Is anybody gonna pick up the hash browns?'"
 * Pete: "I hate cards." Sebastian: "I hate cards with such a passion."
 * DJ Lou: "The last time Pearl Jam played MSG was 2010, and to get in to that show, I had to tell Rosie O'Donnel that I would quit smoking."